Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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