I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Drake has all the answers
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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