I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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