So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
