I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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