Can Purell be used as lube?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
