after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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