I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
