Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
