At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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