Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
