It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
