Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
