yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
