Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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