this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
