Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
third nipple confirmed
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
