They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Randomize
