I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
