Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
