i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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