At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They took my balls.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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