Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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