i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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