im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
