he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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