My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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