At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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