I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
