I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
