You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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