I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
