I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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