She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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