my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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