I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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