I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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