I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
