we're blogging at a bar
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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