it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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