shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
