HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
