I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
even my farts smell like vagina
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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