If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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