I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
are you so shy because you have an std?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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