I bet he comes in French.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
