He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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