FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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