ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
