No awkward lesbian experiences without me
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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