We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
