i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You made out with two different species that night
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
