i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
