Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
