all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
