Where did you get a picture of my penis
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
