my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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