yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
