Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
