that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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