grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
