I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize