you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I party with great urgency now.
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