my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
