You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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