my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
