You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm always down for nudity.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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