well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
