So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
