Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
