I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
