cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
