soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
