Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
