got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
