No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
