Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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