Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Houston, we have a squirter
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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